
Phillip Calvin McGraw, Phd, Psychologist, Relationship and Life Strategy Expert, TV personality and author, relaxed in a speedo and baseball cap beside his swimming pool and tried to put the past week behind him.
It had only been a week since receiving the phone call from Oprah Winfrey that had changed his life. Somehow she had come into contact with a denizen of Blogstream and was torn between two impulses. She either wanted to offer all members of the 'stream free psychological services for having to tolerate this Anexplorer person or buy them all a free car.
Dr. Phil was charged with deciding which of those two alternatives to recommend. It seemed a straight forward task, one he and his staff were eminently qualified to tackle.
He send two of his top researchers into the 'stream.
They never returned.
He sent two more.
They vanished without a trace.
He sent his top researcher, a phd psychologist like himself, a contributor to the DSM 4, the standard diagnostic Bible of the American Psychological Association, author of twenty peer reviewed papers on various psychological disorders.
The next day the only trace of the poor man was an e-mail message on Dr. Phil's computer reading, "Having a wonderful time, glad you're not here! How's that workin' for ya!"
In desperation Dr. Phil had chanced upon a new strategy. He had learned of a psychologist who had a member of the 'stream as a patient and had sent for her. The click of high heels on the flagstone of the poolside alerted him to her presence.
He opened his eyes to see his wife leading a radiant young woman in skirt and blouse toward the pool.
Dr. Phil waved his hand in greeting. "Doctor Feelgoddess, I presume? You all 'll forgive me if I don't get up. I'm kind of weighted down by this here laptop."
Dr. Phil's wife pulled over a chair for the young woman.
"Now Dr. Ah unnerstand y'all have seenin' a member of the blogstream as a patient and that he's signed a release permittn me to talk to y'all?"
"What?" said Dr. Feelgoddess.
"Ah unnerstand y'all..."
The radiant woman laughed and held up her hand, "I'm sorry, I was only joking. That's a cute accent you have." She smiled radiantly. "And yes, Scratchy has been a patient of mine for some time."
"An would y'all say he was a typical citizen of this blogstream?"
"Well he recently lost his mojo for a while, but he seems to have found it again. Scratchy lives in a Tomb with Ralphie T Lion who watches ESPN, Boris The Gremlin and the dust bunny gang who live under his futon, Mr. P the Tiger, Asa the Dragon, Barney Fife, Chester the Cheetah who sleeps all the..."
"Really, and how's that workn' for him?"
"Well he's not afraid of the dark but he does worry about bloggremlins."
Dr. Phil sighed. "Now, just so y'all know, I haven't just fallen off the turnip truck. Y'all say he's worried and he looses things? And he consults you professionally?"
"I wouldn't let him know, but Scratchy is one of my favourite patients. I look forward to our sessions together."
"And how well is he tolerating have this Anexplorer character runnin' around his neck of the woods?"
"Oh, I think Anexplorer may be the least of his worries."
"Wall then I think I have ma answer. Thank y'all for comin' t'see me, Dr. Feelgoddess."
A free car or free psychological services? Dr. Phil was now certain of his answer. Pulling a tiny cell phone from his speedo, he hit speed dial.
"Hello Oprah, y'all remember that question y'asked me last week. Well here's what I think y'all should do...."

Scratchy is a busy boy isn't he?
Great write up.
It worked well for me.
But then I didn't fall off of a turnip truck yesterday.
"He send two of his top researchers into the 'stream.
They never returned.
He sent two more.
They vanished without a trace."
It appears that Blogstream has its own kind of Bermuda Triangle.
I didn't pick up...but I checked my answering machine a little later and heard a familiar Texas Twang...
"The quickest way from A to B is not always at the most feverish pace."
That Dr. Phil,...he's got a million of 'em doesn't he?!
m.
I'm not sure Scratchy is still worried about those Gnomes, but maybe he should be.
Oh boy, would Dr Phil have a field day with us, wouldn't he???????
Sherry
Sherry
Sherry
Considering I've only heard him on commercials and the Tonight Show, that's high praise indeed, Fairweather. His show's usually over by the time I get home from work.
"That dog just don't hunt"
Now if I could just find an opportunity to USE that one!
m.
Ummmm, as far as Scratchy's menagerie....if only you knew the half of it. There's more, a whole LOT more. Mah lips are sealed.
Sherry
I just came from The Library Cat. It appears that his wife has had a heart attack. He has a prayer request up. She is stable following the administration of nitroglycerin, but they could use all the prayers they can get.
Sherry
He called me and said it was a free psychedelic car with Texas plates...
ron
ANEXPLORER: HELLO.
A 'SPEEDO'??? .... Ewwwwww!!!! .... In 'computer' terminology, "DELETE IMAGE!" ....
Now, you've gone and done it, Anex! ....
Old, GRUMPY TallPockets is even MORE SCARRED for life than he ALREADY was! ~SIGH~
Not even the brilliance(?) of Dr. Phil can EVER put TallPockets back together again (T.P.'s APOLOGIES to HUMPTY DUMPTY and all the KINGS MEN!) ....
Truthfully, ANEX, TallPockets has always WONDERED just what it IS that makes ANY ONE PERSON, like the above mentioned DR.PHIL, feel like THEY are the BEST person in the WORLD to TELL the REST OF US, just HOW we all SHOULD live? Ya' know?
Or, to recite a song lyric by the one and only ALICE COOPER:
"WE talk to OUR shrinks - THEY talk to THEIR shrinks -- No wonder WE'RE up the wall!" (Song: Inmates, We're All Crazy)
Or, in the lyrics of one DON HENLEY:
"I'd like to find his little child and kick it in the A**!"
(Song: Get Over It).
To answer your 'choice' dilemma, I FIRST have a QUESTION?
What KIND of CAR would Miss Oprah be givin' us all???
60 octane in a 90 octane world yours,
TallPockets.
BTW ANEX:
TallPockets votes that Miss Oprah should give EACH of us a LIMOUSINE .... with a CHAUFFEUR! .... AND .... Said driver should ALSO have a P.H.D. in PYSCHOLOGY!
(These are TOUGH times, my friend! We MUST learn to get more BANG for our BUCKS!) WINK.
One chamber short of a six shooter yours,
TallPockets
(Ya' made MY day, ANEX and TallPockets feels like a "LUCKY PUNK")
Or, in the lyrics of one DON HENLEY:
"I'd like to find his little child and kick it's litle A**!"
(Song: Get Over It).
(TallPockets had a BRAIN CRAMP earlier above. He was STILL suffering from the VISION of seeing Dr. Phil in a SPEEDO???
MORE Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!