"This isn't how I pictured Camelot," whispered Anexplorer, cautiously sitting up on the mud strewn floor. The knights encircling him in the darkened room were each huddled in massive cloaks against the damp and cold. The central table in the room was a slab of wood that appeared to be a wagon wheel tilted on its side.

"It isn't the place of a peasant to imagine Camelot!" grumbled Sir Gawain from his place closest to the fire.

Merlyn continued to circle the stranger, both horrified and fascinated, his staff always at the ready. "Just how did you picture Camelot?" the old man asked.

"In my time," Anexplorer began, hesitantly. "Camelot is celebrated as the mystical capital of Arthur's realm, where he fought many of the battles and launched the quests that made up his life. Not only is it known for its great physical beauty," Anexplorer's voice stumbled as he looked around the rough cut walls of the room. He went on uncertainly, "Camelot is renowned as the embodiment of the ideals of justice, bravery and truth, the virtues Arthur and his knights champion. It is the ideal society."

Merlyn was startled and stepped back away from him with a hiss. The knights began to roar with laughter, pounding their wooden goblets on the rough table top.

"Indeed, is this how the serious business of the country is conducted," a woman's voice cut smoothly through the air.

Anexplorer lifted his head to see a slim girl poised in the doorway of the room, an aged hag by her side. The bottom of the girl's skirt was wet with the mud that coated the floors and her greasy blond hair was tied in a braid at her back.

"Today it is, Lady Guinevere" said Arthur calmly. "You see we have a guest."

The young woman advanced quickly into the company of men and glanced down on Anexplorer with a look of scorn. "What this? It looks too pudgy for either work or fight yet has none of the appearance of clergy"

"He is an oddity, to be sure," agreed Arthur. "However it does entertain, of a fashion."

The woman gathered her thread worn skirts and seated herself at the table, leaning forward mischievously. "Why then minstrel, favour me with your song. I would be amused."

Stunned by her request, Anexplorer was uncertain how to respond. To be sure he was no singer. The quiet in the room became frighteningly oppressive. In desperation Anexplorer's wobbling tenor launched into a rough version of Learner and Lowe's, Camelot--

It's true! It's true! The crown has made it clear.
The climate must be perfect all the year.

A law was made a distant moon ago here:
July and August cannot be too hot.
And there's a legal limit to the snow here
In Camelot.
The winter is forbidden till December
And exits March the second on the dot.
By order, summer lingers through September
In Camelot.
Camelot! Camelot!
I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
But in Camelot, Camelot
That's how conditions are.
The rain may never fall till after sundown.
By eight, the morning fog must disappear.
In short, there's simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.

The young girl was momentarily speechless. The room was stilled to silence, marred only by the pounding rain and wind.

"Why knave," she stammered. "That was oddly terrible."

"I did say it entertained, after a fashion." Arthur warned. "I didn't know it sang, if singing that was."

"Cute accent though," Guinevere laughed. "Minstrel, you amuse me. How come you here to Camelot?"

Anexplorer looked earnestly up at the taunt, young queen in her home spun ragged dress and attempted to reconcile his image of the regal Guinevere with this thin teenager. "I was at a Diana Gabaldon book signing in Toronto and she asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how the characters in her novels time-travelled to distant locations. My wife volunteered me and next thing I knew I was here."

The fire cracked in the grate. Outside the rain seemed to lessen.

"I know not what to make of gibberish." The young woman said. "Merlyn what say you of this creature?"

"I say this, Lady" Merlyn picked up his staff and suddenly swong it directly at Anexplorer's head.

They were in the second week of a relentless rain. The floors of Camelot were caked with the mud, the roof was leaking and the men were growing sullen and dispirited.

Of the six men lit by the flickering torches and flames from the fireplace, only Arthur seemed at peace, calmly oiling and polishing Excalibur to a radiant gleam.

The cold rain battered against the thatched roof of the wooden room and the great fire in the grate did little to lift the damp or the spirits. The men were wrapped in thick cloaks and depression.

"You know, Arthur, there are pages to do that work for you?" Gawain coughed harshly, both hands cupped around his goblet of heated mead.

Arthur smiled grimly, "Indeed, as you say, Sir Gawain. Yet it is a task I prefer to do."

"You've loved that old relic since wrenching it out of those rocks a life time ago." Gawain observed irritably. "God's breath, I would rather have my guts ripped out in heat of battle than suffer another day of this interminable rain and damp!"

There was a general grunting of assent from the others in the room.

As Arthur was about to speak, Galahad strode briskly toward them, pulling off his soaking cloak and rushing nearer the fire. "They've found Merlyn." he announced. "As you predicted, my Lord, out in yon forest gathering herbs that only grow under these miserable conditions."

Arthur smiled and gestured to Percival, "Go ye hither then and fetch our guest for Merlyn's inspection. Perhaps some entertainment will lift all our spirits."

Percival downed the last of his mead and flung the cup aside. Pulling his cloak more tightly around him, he marched from the room.

Gawain pounded his fist on the table, coughing again. "Aye, some entertainment!" he croaked weakly, "Anything to distract from this sodden curse that afflicts us!"

"Patience, Gawain!" counseled a weak voice from the doorway. A painfully thin man, wrapped in bearskin and clutching a large leather bag, move cautiously into the room. Merlyn threw back his hood to reveal a mane of white hair and beard. "If you were looking for a quest, sir knight, you could have joined me in my search."

Gawain laughted harshly, "I'm no so daft, Merlyn. I want to escape the rain, not bath in it!"

Beyond the room voices could be heard and the pounding of feet. Percival reappeared dragging a man in chains. He shoved the man into the room where he slipped on the mud and fell to the reeking floor.

Merlyn, looked at the stranger with amusement. "And what have we here?"

"My gift to you, Merlyn!" Said Arthur rising to his feet. "Knowing your love of oddities."

Merlyn walked around the stranger, sniffing and prodding with his staff. "He is dressed oddly to be sure and a little pudgy perhaps. A loss of twenty or thirty pounds would harm him none. How came he hence?"

"Aye," agreed Arthur. "A good question that. He says he's here to conduct a survey on healthy communities. Claims he's from 1500 years in the future. And his name is Anexplorer."

The Scarborough Bluffs are beautiful this time of year with the trees and brushes out in flower clothing the naked clay in rich bright garments. Everywhere, life returns with a vigor that is staggering.

I'm running more these days, not just trudging the pathways of the winter. Despite days of rain, the godzilla puddle is a mere shadow of its former self and easily passed by. I no long bear the weight of winter clothing and no long bear the physical wight I carried in the winter, having lost five pounds, mostly to increased activity.

I feel healthier.

As Linda and I think about our future plans with retirement just two years away, I'm wrestling with a choice between an urban or rural future. We've lived in both, loved them both and had problems with them both.

But is one healthier than the other? What makes for a healthy community?

According to the Ontario Healthy Community Coalition, healthy communities are have the following qualities:

* Clean and safe physical environment
* Peace, equity and social justice
* Adequate access to food, water, shelter, income, safety, work and recreation for all
* Adequate access to health care services
* Opportunities for learning and skill development
* Strong, mutually supportive relationships and networks
* Workplaces that are supportive of individual and family well-being
* Wide participation of residents in decision-making
* Strong local cultural and spiritual heritage
* Diverse and vital economy
* Protection of the natural environment
* Responsible use of resources to ensure long term sustainability

Sounds like something a committee would come up with, a check list divorced from the raw stuff of life itself, and so broad in its generalizations it is of no help in answering my question.

Or perhaps it does in this sense, it tells me I'm asking the question too broadly. I'm thinking like a committee. The answer will never come from such wide abstractions. Both rural and urban areas can be healthy places to live. The real question I need to be asking is, is this particular community, this particular street, this particular house healthy or toxic.

I'll never find the answer until I get specific. Until I get real.

And if you think that's funny, click here to see 32 more.

There are a lot of things about living in the City that I hate. I’ve had three bikes stolen, my car broken into and even one attempt to break into my house. The air can get so polluted in the summer that numerous air advisories are issued and people are warned to restrict outdoor activities.

The City is always changing. My favourite places are being torn down and replaced with condominiums and cityscapes that are ugliness personified. There are few wild places left any more and those that are rapidly are falling to the roar of the developer’s massive machinery or are being converted into regulated parks.

Every weekend there is a loud party somewhere making it difficult to sit out and enjoy my back yard.

Driving to appointments on the opposite side of the City has become a major problem. The 401, Toronto’s main By Pass is now officially dysfunctional. A half hour drive can sometimes take two hours when traffic gets heavy, If I leave at 8 o’clock for a 10 o’clock appointment, I’m either and hour and a half early, or just barely on time. The 407, Toronto’s new by pass, is a 20 minute drive north and is a toll road.

On the other hand, country living can be isolating and slow to welcome new comers. It means driving long distances for basic life necessities in a time of rapidly rising gas prices. It means putting distance between ourselves and our family.

Winter driving in the country can be unpredictable. And dangerous.. In the ten years Linda and I spent living in Northern Ontario, we lost 4 friends to traffic accidents. In the City we’ve lost no one. Because distances are so great in the country, people drive more and walk less. Obesity rates are significantly higher in the country.

Medical appointments with specialists mean long drives to Toronto with set appointment times and no forgiveness for being late. No matter how many miles you've travelled, or what heroic conditions you've overcome to get there.

There are the blackfies and the shadflies and the mosquitoes.

Everything costs more in the country from food to furniture to gasoline. Winters north of Toronto are longer, colder and more vicious.

Both Linda and I are planning to retire in two years and that means making some choices about where to live. Do we stay here in the city or move to the country?

Factored into this decision making is the whole issue of healthy living. What is a healthy community? What makes for a healthy place to live?

I’ll have some thoughts on that next tomorrow.